When Koopas Meet Digimon
by abstow89
Summary: When Iggy, Kooper, and The Mario Bros., befriend a Digimon and a whole arsenal of more Digimon enter the Mario universe, a great adventure is bound to start!
1. Who's That Digimon?

**When Koopas Meet Digimon**

**A/N: After watching some episodes of Digimon and having Mario games on my mind, I've decided to make this little fanfic about what happens when Kooper, The Mario Bros., and the Koopalings meet Digimon. **

**Who's That Digimon?**

Iggy never liked sharing rooms. Out of the nine relatives in his family, he was the second smartest and the one who bothered pursing careers that were actually worth doing. And yet, he always had to sleep in the same room as his loud mouth brother Morton. Perhaps it was because he was the middle child that he never had any special privileges. It wasn't really that Morton bullied Iggy, like his other brother Roy, but he just would not stop talking. Everytime when he woke up in the morning, Iggy couldn't get another five minutes of shut-eye without Morton yelling in his ear. And even if he did wake up when he was supposed to, Morton would continue to jabber around him until he left to go to his chemistry studies. But Iggy supposed he'd rather deal with a blabbermouth than a gruff koopa who would suplex him off the bed everyday.

So now it was almost seven in the morning and pretty soon, he and his brother would wake up and Iggy would head off to his chemical college while Morton would stay in his father's castle and cause mischief with his cantankerous siblings.

"Hey Iggy! Get up!" shouted Morton in his ear.

Iggy grumbled and rolled over on his stomach so he wouldn't be facing his brother.

"You have college bro? Remember? That you have to go to in order to learn more stuff? College: the institution of learning and furthering one's mind? College: the big building full of professional…professors who teach people professional things? College: the um…uh…damn, what's the word I'm looking for? Um…college: the advanced meaning of the word school? College: that building--"

"ALL RIGHT!! I GET IT!!!!"

* * *

"You gonna eat that cupcake?"

"Yes, I am going to eat that cupcake Roy." said a trite, still semi-unconscious Iggy.

"You suuuuure you wanna eat it?"

"Yes Roy. Now leave me alone so I can eat my damn pastry in peace!"

Roy abruptly grabbed the cupcake and started chewing on it. But he didn't swallow it. Instead, he chewed on it until it was all mushy and coated with saliva, then took the remains off his tongue and dumped it on Iggy's plate.

"Here you go." said Roy, smiling widely.

Iggy grumbled to himself and shoved his plate aside, eating his plate of eggs and bacon first with Morton.

"So what are you supposed to be doing in your chemistry class today? You gonna blow up some bob-ulks?! That would be so cool…blowing up bob-ulks."

"Nah, we're gonna try to make an extremely corrosive acid with the saliva from stone chomps and the poison from hurt plants. Although our professor said not to try this experiment since it usually ends with explosive results."

"So why are you and Roy gonna do it?"

"Because we need the extra credit! Otherwise we'll fail this term and have to start over!"

"Don't you have that test coming up? All you really have to do is pass that and you're fine!"

Iggy laughed. "Like I'm really gonna pass that test!"

Iggy grunted and sighed heavily when something slammed into the back of his head and cracked. He heard Roy make a leering laugh and as Iggy touched the back of his cranium, he noticed that it was covered in egg yolk.

"You got a little--"

"I know."

* * *

Iggy, a couple shady koopas, and The Koopa Bros. were sitting together at this giant chemistry table with safety goggles on to shield their eyes in case anything exploded. While Green and Iggy actually bothered trying out the experiments, most of the other students were horsing around or mixing random elements that could blow up the entire school.

"Why the hell are your brothers even in this class Green? They never do anything but throw acid everywhere and try to make stink bombs!"

"They're not smart enough to make stink bombs Iggy; you should know this by now."

"That is not true! Black here made a stink bomb last week and the whole top floor was evacuated!" said Red.

"Uh, sorry. That wasn't a stink bomb."

"Then what made that horrible odor?" asked Iggy.

"I took off my shoes in the middle of class." said Black, before laughing nervously.

"Yeah, that would cause a massive scale evacuation!" said Yellow.

Everyone around the table laughed heartily, making Black feel dumbfounded. Black returned the favor by bonking his younger brother on the head.

"OW! Why are you guys always so abusive to me?!" whined Yellow.

"It's all the part of sibling rivalry. Just ask my brother Roy; he'll tell you." said Iggy.

"I don't have it nowhere near as bad as you Iggy! At least Red doesn't throw eggs at the back of my head."

"Eh, better than bowling balls."

"…What?"

"Long story. Let's get this experiment on the way shall we?"

Iggy and Green started mixing a series of compounds and elements together inside of a beaker and waited for something. After a couple of seconds, the mixture slowly turned red and then orange and began to bubble and fizz. Iggy began to laugh evilly to himself and lifted the potion into the air.

"With this acid, I shall be able to combine with the DNA of any animal I choose they alter its gene structure so that I can turn it into a walking breathing monsters! And then, I can create more and more and more until I have a whole army of acid monsters at my side! MWAHAHAHA!!!"

"Dude, this is a Mario fanfic, not Frankenstein. Calm down." said Black.

"Hmph! You guys just don't appreciate evil geniuses when you see 'em!"

"Okay guys, now let's mix our chemicals and see what happens. Now…pour the mercury slowly…" commanded Green.

"I'm the leader of this group so I should be the one who says what goes where and what gets dumped on who! Now…Yellow, get the mercury." said Red.

Green rolled his eyes as Yellow slowly poured the liquid-metal into the glass beaker.

"The next thing you have--"

"AH AH! What did I say Green?!"

"Don't you guys realize that if you put the wrong compounds in at the wrong time or put too much in at the wrong time, you'll blow up the whole school?!!!?"

"…So?" shrugged Red.

"OOH! This looks interesting!" said Black, adding a bluish element to the beaker.

"Black! NOO!!!"

* * *

Iggy and the rest of the students in the classroom where standing outside getting sprayed and hosed down by HAZMAT koopa units. Unlike Green predicted, Black didn't make an explosive with the stuff he mixed together. Instead, he created a low-grade radioactive element that gave everyone in the class radiation sickness. But hey, at least they didn't die. They were infected with radiation, but they weren't dead. After their "sponge bath" everyone collected their items and proceeded to go home, since the campus was now closed down for investigation.

"Nice goin' bro! You almost killed everyone in the whole school!" yelled Roy.

"It wasn't me! Black did it! I had nothing--"

"I really don't care at this moment Iggy! I was in the same classroom which _I _have radiation poisoning too! I swear to God, if my kidneys start fallin' out I am gonna kick your ass SO hard!!"

"I'd like to see you try…" mumbled Iggy under his breath.

The two brothers began to walk back to their father's castle. But Iggy, fed up with being around his abusive older brother, walked down a different path, surrounded by nothing but a road made of concrete and several large hedges.

"What am I supposed to do now? Can't go to college now that that Neanderthal Black radiated the whole place. Can't experiment at home, since Roy or my other siblings…or Dad would smash them all and possibly kill us. I just…wish there was something I could experiment with! Like some sort of animal or organic compound. Something like a new species whose DNA I could alter to my liking so that I could take over the Mushroom Kingdom or fuel Dad's koopa army! If only I could find something…team up with another group of scientists to go on an expedition in Keelhaul Key or Jade Jungle, then maybe I could pull this off!"

There was a sudden blue flash from beyond a hedge that Iggy ignored…

"Who am I kidding? Like this plan is really gonna work! Maybe I should just get back to scheming for when I get older…"

And so, Iggy continued to walk towards his father's castle, unaware that there was something stalking him behind the hedges. Iggy heard something rustle shortly after the wind blew across his face, but he thought it was just the leaves blowing along the ground. So he continued to walk along the road until he heard another rustle in the hedges and turned around to investigate. Once again, he found nothing, which lead to him to scratch his head in confusion. So, once again, he resumed walking to his father's castle when he heard faint growling beyond the hedges, prompting him to leap right through 'em and investigate.

"All right, who the hell is that?!" wondered Iggy.

He franticly looked left and right to try and discover the source of the noise, but whatever this thing was, it obviously didn't want to be found.

"I getting sick and tired of hearing all these weird--"

As Iggy turned around, he yelped and fell backwards when he came face-to-face with an odd creature with red skin and black bands around his body, and a white underbelly with a black symbol that looked like a radioactive sign. It had long, pointed ears that reminded someone of a bat and long claws and toenails. It was roughly the size of Iggy himself…and it looked like a dinosaur or other type of vicious lizard. Iggy didn't know whether or not he should be scared or try to fight the beast, but he did know it was growing in a slightly menacing tone.

"What…what the hell are you? What do you want with me?" asked Iggy, still fearful of the creature.

But the creature didn't respond at all and continued to growl at the koopaling shortly before it walked up to him. The creature looked at Iggy before cocking an eyebrow and lowering its head to sniff Iggy. After sniffing the koopaling a few times, it growled questionably before turning its head. The creature suddenly smiled and said, "Hi!" in a friendly tone.

"Uh…hi?" said Iggy.

The creature continued to stare at Iggy with a smile on its face, nudging him with its nose.

"So what are you supposed to be?"

"My name's Guilmon! I'm a digimon who came from the DigiWorld!"

Iggy scratched his head. "Digimon? Like that internet card thing?"

Guilmon shrugged and grunted as though he said, "I don't know."

"How'd you get here?"

Guilmon scratched his head. "I not sure…I was walking when I saw a bright flash and was sucked through it."

"Well it was nice meeting you. I'm uh…I'm gonna go now." said Iggy, walking away from the digital dinosaur creature.

But to Iggy's surprise, he realized that Guilmon was following him to his father's castle, like a dog trailing someone with a sack of meat.

"Are you following me?"

"Can Guilmon stay with you in your castle?"

"…No."

Iggy turned around and began to walk away. But a few minutes later, he was nudged in the shell by Guilmon's head.

"Please?"

"No, Guilmon. My Dad's gonna flip out if he finds a red dinosaur hiding in my room."

Iggy walked away from Guilmon once again, but just as he anticipated, the Digimon bumped into his shell once again.

"Damnit Guilmon! You can't come home with me!" yelled Iggy.

"Aww…" whined Guilmon, taking his ears down with a sad expression on his face.

Guilmon then began to howl at the sky as his own form of crying or bickering. It wasn't something you'd like to hear everyday, especially after you've just been exposed to radiation.

"If I let you stay for a few days…will you stop howling?"

Guilmon abruptly stopped howling and smiled, saying, "Okay!" while flapping his ears.

"Okay, fine, but we have to be quiet about this. Like I said, my Dad's gonna freak if he finds you!"

* * *

Iggy was walking inside his father's castle late at night, trying to be as surreptitious as possible. So far it was working; none of the guards spotted him. So all he had to do now was get up to his room and he could stay in there all night. He'd figure out how to deal with Morton later.

"Okay, let's go." whispered Iggy.

Guilmon began to follow Iggy…whilst he was inside an emptied Bob-ulk.

"All we have to do is get past the dining room and--"

"HEY IGGY! Whatcha doin' with that bob-ulk?" asked Bowser.

"Uh, nothing! Just taking this ordinary bob-ulk upstairs to my room!"

Iggy strained as he began to lift the giant bob-ulk up the stairs.

"You sure you don't need any help?"

"I'm just…fine. Don't worry…about…me." said Iggy with strain in his voice.

That's when he shouted when he fell down the stairs and made an ear shattering crash. Bowser got off the chair he was sitting on to go help his son out, but as he arrived to the staircase, he noticed that Iggy already scurried up the steps and was in his room.

"Okay Guilmon, you can come out now."

Guilmon climbed out the bob-ulk from the top and began to explore the room, sniffing various items and knocking some stuff over.

"Hey, that's my radio! Don't break that!" commanded Iggy.

"Which bed do I sleep in?" asked Guilmon.

"You have to stay in the closet tonight."

"Closet?"

"Look my brother sleeps in that bed and I can't have him finding out anything. Not unless you want to get kicked out of here when Morton squeals on you. So you're just gonna have to sleep in the closet tonight."

"But--"

"No buts! Now go!" demanded Iggy.

Guilmon whined once again and retreated into the closet while Iggy shut the door, just as Morton entered their room.

"Who were you talking to?"

"Um…the wall…" said Iggy, shortly before laughing nervously.

* * *

When it was roughly around two in the morning, Iggy awoke when his closet door opened up with a loud creak, revealing Guilmon. Luckily, Morton didn't hear anything and was fast asleep.

"Whuh? What is it Guilmon?"

"I can't sleep; the floor is too hard. Can I sleep on your bed?"

Iggy sighed exasperatedly, but knew that Guilmon would start whining again and his brother would wake up and spot him.

"Okay."

"YAY!! I get to sleep on the bed!" shouted Guilmon.

"SHH! You want my brother to hear you?!"

"Sorry."

Guilmon got onto the bed and fell flat on his stomach…crushing Iggy.

"The other side Guilmon! The other side!" said a suffocating Iggy.

Guilmon rolled over and got into a comfortable position on Iggy's mattress. Iggy yawned and muttered, "Good night." while Guilmon responded with a drowsy growl. Too bad Iggy wasn't aware that Guilmon had a habit of sleeping with his mouth open.

"Ugh! You know up close, you have really bad breath Guilmon."

But Guilmon simply grabbed Iggy and brought him closer to his being, cuddling with him and sighing contently. Iggy was gonna have to sleep with a heavy dinosaur with halitosis resting on his body. Iggy didn't really mind though, as it was two in the morning and he was too tired to do anything else.

"I wonder what'll happen tomorrow morning?" mumbled a drowsy Iggy.

* * *

Elsewhere, another Digimon, nowhere near as friendly as Guilmon, was walking through the Mushroom Kingdom after getting transported through the DigiProtal, looking to start some havoc…


	2. I'm Blue

**I'm Blue**

Kooper was walking through his peaceful village located on Pleasant Path, greeting some of his fellow neighbors while simultaneously doing some of his chores. It was beautiful in Koopa Village, as always and the sun was beaming down upon the happy koopas. While looking for a koopa leaf, his friend Koover waved and said "Hi!" to him.

"How's it goin' Koopster? Running another errand for old Koopa Koot again?"

Kooper sighed heavily. "Sadly, yes. My mom coerced me to go see him and, like I told her, he made me do some chore that only fuels his needs."

Koover laughed. "What'd he make you do this time?"

"He wants me to go fetch some koopasta…again. Is that all this guy eats: Koopasta and Koopa Tea?"

"Hey, just be glad he didn't send you halfway across the Mushroom Kingdom. That old Koopa made me go all the way to Fahr Outpost just so I could record how thick those bob-ombs' accents are! Do you have any idea how long it takes to not only get to Rogueport, but find the pipe vault that leads to Fahr Outpost?!"

"Pretty damn long."

"Exactly."

"Well…I better go find that leaf. Then I'm off to Dry Dry Outpost to buy some pasta."

"Have fun!" said Koover.

Kooper walked behind a few houses and searched the bushes for some type of koopa leaf, but he found nothing. It was kind of ironic; the village was littered with bushes, yet none of them contained any leaves.

"Come on, where are those damn leaves?!" grumbled Kooper.

Kooper adventured further out into Pleasant Path to find more bushes on the barren road, but once again, all of them seemed to be completely leaf-less. It was like someone already ate all of the leaves of if they mysterious vanished.

"Somethin' fishy is going on…" said Kooper.

Kooper heard a faint cry come up from nowhere and looked around the area, trying to determine the source of the outbreak.

"What is that?"

Kooper walked back into Koopa Village and the sound got louder, slowly increasing as he progressed further down the village. He went back into his house and walked out the back door, entering a section of the village housing the river. Now the sound was identifiable. It was a scream.

"Wait a second…this is Fuzzy territory. I bet those fuzzies jumped some poor Koopa when he or she wasn't looking!"

Kooper, realizing the type of danger the person screaming could be in, raced into the Fuzzy HQ, the little forest behind his house where they took his shell, and waited for the fuzzies to make their move.

"Come on out you black parasites! I'm not scared of you!"

The screaming only continued to grow louder and it was getting closer to Kooper, like a car racing down the street. Perhaps…it wasn't the fuzzies…or a Koopa for that matter.

"I don't get it. Why's the sound getting louder?"

Kooper looked down and noticed a tiny shadow appearing on the ground.

"Huh?"

Kooper looked up and saw a tiny blue object flying straight out of the sky as the screams continued to grow louder and louder. For some obvious reason, Kooper felt the need to move out of the way.

"I'm thinkin' I should move now…" said Kooper, shifting to his right.

But for some ridiculous reason (or maybe due to the laws of physics) the blue item falling from the sky landed right on top of Kooper, whacking him in the head and knocking him to the ground. After a few minutes, Kooper woke up from his unconsciousness and planted his hand on his forehead, which was now red and throbbing profusely.

"Ergh…what the hell was that?" asked Kooper.

The creature that landed on top of him quickly jolted awake as well and started to pant frantically, wary of something.

"Where is it? Where'd they go? WHAT'S HAPPENING!??!" asked the creature.

"Something wrong dude? You look like hell."

The creature turned around to face Kooper. It was very short, at most two and a half feet tall. All of his skin was blue, except for his white belly and mouth. Kooper couldn't find his ears so he guessed that the conical appendages on the back of his head were the ears, and his nose was a tiny, spiky horn. However, what gave the creature away was his large yellow "V" planted right in-between his giant reddish-pink eyes. It was Veemon.

"I haven't seen you around these parts before. What's your name?"

"Veemon. You didn't see any giant or disgusting Digimon follow me here did you?"

"Digimon? You talking about that Internet game, that type of Digimon."

"Err…sure. Computer… Anyways, did you see someone following me?"

"No. You fell out of the sky and clocked me on the head."

"Sorry. It's just that I was battling some BlackAgumons when this DarkTyrannomon swooped in out of nowhere…"

"…Tyrannomon?" said Kooper, confused.

"…and then, a whole bunch of them just started attacking me after coming through this unknown portal! It was brutal man."

"Sounds like you've been having a rough day."

"Yeah, I know."

"All right, so how'd you get here?"

"Um…I was running and then I saw this black blur form on the ground and I stepped into it…and fell. It must've been a portal; I've never seen this part of the DigiWorld before."

"DigiWorld? I think you got the wrong place dude."

"Huh?"

"This is Koopa Village, a small community within the Mushroom Kingdom."

"…Huh???"

"I think you just traveled to a whole new universe…"

"…HUH???"

Kooper sighed.

"Maybe you should chill with me for a while until you remember what happened."

"I can't chill! My world's in danger right now! How am I gonna save my world when I'm in a whole other universe?!"

Kooper chuckled. "I don't see how a little guy like you could save the universe. No offense, but you're friggin' two feet tall!" laughed Kooper.

"AVee-Headbuttinthecrotchsayswhat?"

"…What?"

Veemon charged right into Kooper, slamming his rock-hard skull into Kooper's crotch. Kooper grunted loudly and gritted his teeth, turning red and falling to his knees. Kooper slowly looked up and realized he was looking directly at Veemon, who was smiling widely with his eyes shut, feeling triumphant.

"Did you just head-butt me in the balls?!!?"

"Basically."

Kooper quickly made a fist with his right hand and punched Veemon in the crotch as well, and he did the same thing that Kooper did. Now both of them were lying on their knees, coughing and groaning while holding their groins.

"Payback's a bitch ain't it?!"

* * *

After the two recovered from their painful encounter, they returned to Kooper's house and Kooper fixed a light lunch for himself and Veemon. Veemon was eating ravenously, as though he never tasted food for the past five years. It had only been three minutes and he was almost done eating his meal.

"OH! SO DELICIOUS!!! What do you call this delightful dish?!"

"Spicy pasta. I added a couple shrooms to it to give it more flavor."

"What's a shroom?"

"It's this special kind of fungi…"

Kooper noticed Veemon wasn't paying too much attention to him, so he stopped talking and just said, "Never mind."

Kooper was about to take a bite out of the shroom he picked up with his fork, but Veemon veered his head in and snatched it off the fork with his mouth.

"Hey!"

Kooper was going to get another shroom off his plate, but Veemon snatched that away too and slammed the plate into face, noisily slurping up the dish.

"HEY!!"

Veemon gulped loudly and put the plate down, sighing contently and licking his fingers.

"Is it that good?"

"I've never eaten food this wonderful before!! It's so spicy and has this zing that makes my taste buds go wild!"

"Well, since you ruined my lunch, why don't you tell me about this danger your world's experiencing now."

"It's kind of hard to describe. Everything just happened so fast. All I know is that packs of evil Digimon appeared from an unknown portal and have been plaguing our world for the past several weeks, killing anyone that stands in their way. If it weren't for the Primary Village this massacre would be a whole lot worse."

"What is this Primary Village?"

"The Primary Village--you got anything else to eat here? I'm starving!"

"You just ate two plates of pasta!"

"So?"

Kooper sighed. "I got a cookie in the cabinets; you can eat that."

"Thanks!"

Veemon sifted through Kooper's cabinets and found a large brown cookie with white stripes on it.

"What's this?"

"A Kooky Cookie. I don't think you should eat it because it can--"

Veemon stuffed the crunchy pastry into his mouth and chewed on the cookie, sighing with glee once again and swallowing very hard.

"Anyways, Primary Village--"

Veemon suddenly fell forward like a telephone pole, unconscious. If Veemon had been an inhabitant of the Mushroom Kingdom, he would've known that Kooky Cookies can sometimes make their host drowsy and fall asleep instantly. Kooper sighed exasperatedly and looked at the tiny blue reptile, who was snoring and twitching in his own little dream land.

"I warned you."

* * *

Meanwhile, another Digimon was overlooking Kooper's house from afar, observing his victim. The Digimon growled lowly and looked through a window, seeing Veemon lying on the floor and Kooper pacing across his kitchen, fixing another batch of spicy pasta so he could eat it before Veemon woke up. The creature chuckled evilly.

"Looks like you messed up Veemon. You should know by now that you're not the only one who can use the portals. Hmm…not familiar with this part of the universe. No matter, it'll all be destroyed soon…"

* * *

Two hours later, Kooper smacked Veemon on the forehead and he jolted awake, twitching his head like a bird.

"What happened? I fall asleep?"

"I was gonna tell you that if you eat a Kooky Cookie, you could fall asleep."

"Seriously? I was knocked unconscious by a cookie?!"

"Hey, you wanted it. Now, continue your story."

"Okay. Well um…a bunch of bad Digimon started to spawn out of nowhere and all of us allies were slaughtered. Some of us came back to life, but when you're spawned that many times…the Primary Village doesn't always bring you back to life."

"You Digimon can die for real?"

"Yeah, if we're damaged too much then we can die for real and never come back…which sucks ass!"

"Why are you complaining? We only get one shot at life in this universe."

"…Isn't this the human world?"

"No, the rules are different here. Unless someone has a life shroom of lucky candy, we're screwed. I'm not sure if the same rules apply to you creatures though."

"Awesome. That just makes my job easier. Well, do you know how I can get back to my world?"

"I doubt there are any portals that lead to this…DigiWorld but you can check out Shooting Star Summit. I'm pretty sure if see the Star Spirits then they'll help you out."

"Cool. Let's get going!"

Veemon got up and started walking towards the door, while Kooper stayed behind and eye-balled Veemon oddly.

"What do you mean 'Let's'?"

"As in the both of us?"

"You impaled me in my groin and you ate all my food. The fact I haven't considered kicking your ass yet is because I don't feel like and, after hearing your story, it wouldn't be right. Plus, you might head-butt me in the crotch again."

"C'mon dude, think about it! You know about this massacre in my universe too and if any evil Digimon come through a portal the same way I did, you're not gonna be so lucky _and _you're not gonna have any backup. So I suggest you do a little 'escorting' business for me until you see this through. Besides, you'll like my universe! It's fun!"

Kooper sighed exasperatedly and nodded his head.

"It beats traveling to a scolding hot desert just to buy pasta."

Kooper and Veemon opened the front door and instantly saw a giant red creature with a spiked shell on its back. The koopa and the small blue Digimon looked up to see that a giant tortoise-like maw was formed into a smile, and that it was chuckling under its breath.

"Well, well, well!! Looks like I found you Veemon!" said the creature.

It had a loud, guttural voice and sounded like a gruff bouncer or irritated office worker. Maybe that was why it was nicknamed a Roaring Digimon.

"Tortomon?!?" yelled Veemon in disbelief.

"What, is that a Digimon/tortoise?" asked Kooper.

"Basically. What the hell's a red Tortomon doing here?!"

"I followed you through the portal! You should've been covering your tracks you ignorant klutz! And now…I'm going to kill you, and your little friend here!" said the giant red tortoise, pointing to Veemon and Kooper.

"Oh, shit."


	3. Finding the Right Time

**Finding the Right Time**

Tortomon laughed evilly and retracted into his shell.

"SPINNING ATTACK!!" he shouted.

"What?!" asked Kooper.

Tortomon began to spin around vigorously until he was shooting up dust and debris from the ground, almost creating a tornado of wind above him. Then he shot himself right at Kooper, ready to bash him with his titan sized red shell.

"GET DOWN!!" yelled Veemon, bashing Kooper in the shell and knocking him out of the way.

Tortomon slammed into Kooper's house and flattened the place like a pancake, spreading glass and bricks into the air. Tortomon got out of his shell and shook his head, turning around and looking at Veemon and Kooper lying on the ground. He roared and began to run over to the koopa and tiny Digimon, his feet making thunderous stomps as he ran.

"I got this."

Kooper went into his shell and slowly began to spin himself, just before he shot his shell right at the red Tortomon's chin. Tortomon grunted and screeched to a halt while Kooper got out of his shell, daring the Tortomon to come towards him.

"STRONG CARAPACE!!" yelled the red Tortomon.

"Strong shell? What the hell is that?!"

"KOOPER! DUCK!!" shouted Veemon.

Kooper hid in his shell while Veemon took cover behind a Toad Inn. The spikes on Tortomon's shell glowed brightly and Tortomon turned around. Suddenly, the glowing spikes shot out of his shell and scattered all over the village, destroying everything in their paths. Many of the koopas ran out of their homes to avoid the incoming fire as their houses were wrecked by the spikes. Luckily, their shells were hard enough to reflect the spikes, so no one was killed or gravely harmed. Kooper got out of his shell and gasped when he saw Tortomon running right towards him with his maw wide open, waiting to entrap him in his jaws. But Veemon acted just in time and jumped inside Tortomon's maw, holding his mouth open by grabbing the roof of his mouth with his arms and holding it up.

"Get…out of here! I can…take care of…him."

"Wow, for such a little guy, you sure can--"

"Do you…want Tortomon to…eat you?!"

"No."

"Then shut your trap!!!"

Kooper ran behind the giant Tortomon and proceeded to the Fuzzy hideout. Although, he did feel a little sorry for the guy. He was just trying to survive a viral takeover in his own world and now, he was gonna get eaten alive by a giant red tortoise.

"Gee, I hope the little short guy's okay."

Kooper heard a loud scream in the sky once again and looked up to see the same blue dot.

"I AM NOT SHOOORRRRRRTTT!!!!" screamed Veemon.

This time, Kooper leaped forward nearly two feet to avoid getting impaled in the head again by Veemon. His rock-hard head could shatter his skull for all he knew and he wasn't too keen on finding out whether or not that was true. Kooper rushed over to Veemon and helped him up.

"I see you're not dead yet."

Kooper groaned with disgust when he looked at his hand, realizing it was covered in saliva.

"Ew, and you're covered in spit!" said Kooper, wiping the saliva off his shell.

"That damn Tortomon tried to eat me! But luckily, I Vee-Headbutted the guy in his uvula and he hacked me back up."

Kooper cocked an eyebrow. "You made a Digimon throw up?"

Veemon laughed. "There's no way in hell I was coming out the back end. I'm sorry; I-I just can't do that. It's too traumatizing!"

Kooper and Veemon heard the red Tortomon bellow once again and saw it spinning their way to them in his shell, ready to squash them.

"RUN!!"

Kooper and Veemon slid down a grassy hill and began to run along the paths in Koopa Village. It would've been tranquil if there wasn't a skyscraper sized red tortoise chasing after them. Kooper gazed at the sparkling river and began to conjure a method of evasion.

"Veemon!! Do you know of any other way of defeating this Digimon?"

"NO! Not unless I digivolve of course…"

Kooper screeched to a halt.

"WAIT! You can evolve into another form of yourself??"

"Yeah!"

"Why didn't you say that before?! That thing--"

Kooper and Veemon yelped and threw themselves into the river in order to avoid Tortomon and his spiked shell. He was mere inches away from stomping the two creatures into dust. Kooper and Veemon rose to the surface and began to swim in the opposite direction, hoping to get to the other side of the village.

"There's a problem when it comes to digivolving! I'm not sure how you do it! It just happens; instincts I guess."

Veemon and Kooper looked at Tortomon and saw that it turned around and was heading right for them. Kooper and Veemon gasped and began to panic, frantically looking around the village for something they could use to defend themselves. Kooper snapped his fingers and hopped into the river, hiding in his shell once again.

"Get on top of me!" commanded Kooper, his voice echoing throughout the shell.

"Um…what?"

"Break off a stick, get on my shell, and row our way down the river! The currents will be too fast for him to handle!"

Veemon examined the river and noticed that he was already flowing downstream.

"See? Now get on me!"

Veemon broke off a stick and jumped on top of Kooper, yelling and trying to keep his balance as the rapids began to increase. Veemon turned around and saw the Tortomon still on the island running towards them. However, at the rate they were traveling, they had nothing to worry about.

"WHEW!!! I think we lost him."

Veemon grunted questionably when he looked down and saw a massive shadow cast over the river. He looked up and screamed when he saw Tortomon falling from the sky and was about to land on top of them. Veemon panicked and began to profusely use the stick as a paddle, gaining speed before Tortomon closed in and crushed them. Veemon felt Tortomon's hot breath on his tail just before he landed face down in the river and created a tremendous splash. It created a wave high enough to slam through a four story building and Veemon couldn't help but panic and hold on to Kooper's shell with all his might. It was like surfing on a very narrow wave and if he wiped out at the wrong moment, he'd fall onto some blunt object and would surely die. Either that, or the Tortomon would eat him. But luckily, Veemon kept his balance until the wave subsided and continued to flow down the river. Only, Tortomon was hot on their trail. Veemon turned around and saw the red tortoise Digimon swimming as swiftly as he could, panting heavily and treading some water. Veemon dug his stick into the water and rowed until he saw a corner of the river that he couldn't turn in time. Kooper and Veemon hit the mud and grass and their bodies were hurled into the air, landing in another section of the village.

After a few minutes, Kooper groaned and woke up from his unconsciousness, rubbing his head and spitting out dirt.

"Ow…what happened?"

Veemon answered, but Kooper couldn't hear him because his head was buried in the dirt and he couldn't get it out. Kooper rushed over to Veemon and grabbed him from behind, stretching him out of the dirt. Veemon shook his head and coughed out the dirt in his mouth, sneezing when the dirt tickled his nose hairs.

"Okay…we got away from him."

"For now. He's gonna come back sooner or later so we'll need some backup."

"What do you suggest?"

"We gotta find my pal, Mario. He's this legendary plumber--"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, because nothing you're saying right now makes any sense. How the hell is a plumber 'legendary'? Does he plunge toilets owned by dragons without throwing up?"

"…Actually, yes, but that's not the point. He's saved a princess several times over from a stupid, but very evil koopa king."

"Why's he so special?"

"Can you grab someone who weighs a ton more than you do and fling him around in circles by his tail?"

"No…" said Veemon, meekly.

"Then that settles it. We're gonna go find Mario and you're gonna explain what's going on to him."

"Can't we just go back to your house and eat some of that spicy pasta?" asked Veemon, smiling and wagging his tail.

Kooper looked at him in a stupefied way.

"My house was destroyed."

"I-I knew that. You don't need to tell me things I know!"

Just as Kooper and Veemon began to walk, they realized that they were trapped inside a circular cavern full of stone with no way out. It must've been the outskirts of Koopa Village, the part Kooper's parents never told him to go to.

"Shit, we got a problem."

The ground rocked with seismic motion and Kooper and Veemon turned around to find Tortomon standing on all fours staring at them, panting like a dog.

"Looks like…you've got nowhere…to run!!" wheezed Tortomon.

Kooper and Veemon sighed exasperatedly and looked at each other, realizing what they had to do. They had to defeat the Tortomon right now, or else he'd never stop hunting for them.

"You ready?" asked Kooper.

Veemon cracked his neck and got in his fighter stance.

"With that spicy pasta I ate, I'm more energized than ever!"

With that, Veemon and Kooper proceeded to attack Tortomon, and the giant tortoise charged towards them as well.

"VEE PUNCH!!" yelled Veemon, swinging his arms back and forth.

Veemon socked Tortomon in the face three times, but on the fourth swing, one of his arms brushed up against his mouth and he wound up cutting his arm, which forced him to retreat.

"GROUND D--"

Kooper immediately hid in his shell and slammed into Tortomon's side twice, forcing him to topple over and land on his back. Despite this, Tortomon managed to roll back over and stand on his four feet, snapping at Kooper and whacking Veemon with his tail.

"GROUND DASH!!!" shouted Tortomon.

Tortomon lashed both of his claws at Veemon and Kooper, scratching them on the face and penetrating Kooper's skin. He got back up and hid in his shell, igniting himself on fire. Veemon slowly backed away and watched as Kooper gunned himself directly to Tortomon and his face and slammed into his eye. Tortomon howled in pain and took a few steps backward before Veemon began to step in.

"VEE HEAD--"

Tortomon grabbed Veemon and threw him into the wall of the cliff, waiting for his fragile body to fall down and crash into the dirt. Tortomon laughed evilly and ran over to Kooper.

"STRONG CARAPACE!!!"

Kooper laughed boastfully.

"Please!! I already know how to avoid your spikes!"

Tortomon swiped his claws against the ground and tripped Kooper. Then he grabbed his shell and took it off, turning back around as his shells began to glow. Kooper yelped and grabbed his head with worry, utterly embarrassed that he was naked. Not literally of course; he was wearing a large T-shirt (and presumably underwear) but a koopa without his shell is like a man walking outside with no pants on. It wasn't something to be proud of unless you were drunk, in which case you wouldn't care.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!! GIVE ME BACK MY SHELL!!" demanded Kooper.

But Tortomon didn't care. He simply turned around and fired an arsenal of spikes from his back, hitting the "naked" koopa in the head and chest. Kooper had taken major damage without his shell on and was actually pretty banged up. Kooper still had some fight left in him and was determined to defeat the red menace. He ran over to Tortomon and bit him on the foot, which made him drop his shell. Kooper quickly acquired it and put it back on.

"Ah, much better! You're gonna get it now tortoise!"

Tortomon attempted to bite down on Kooper, but he hid in his shell and began to spin around and around until a small cyclone formed around his perimeter. The Tortomon was dazed by his rapid movements and his eyes began to spin and he was groaning loudly, swaying left and right.

"Oh my head…" moaned Tortomon.

"HOPPING KICK!!!" shouted Veemon, recovering from his injury.

Tortomon was standing on his hind legs now still moving around like he was drunk. Veemon lifted himself into the air and kicked Tortomon in the crotch. His eyes grew wide and Tortomon fell to his knees, holding his groin and shaking. Veemon and Kooper stopped attacking for a little bit and stared at Tortomon, panting.

"You gonna give up now Tortomon?" asked Veemon.

Tortomon abruptly lashed at Kooper and Veemon with his claws, knocking Veemon down and grabbing Kooper. Tortomon held Kooper up to his view and stared at him, shortly before laughing evilly.

"Oh, no you don't!" shouted Tortomon, stomping down on Veemon.

Veemon tried to blindside Tortomon, but he spotted him and stomped him into the dirt.

"Looks like your time is up turtle!"

"I'm not a turtle…I'M A KOOPA!!" shouted Kooper.

Tortomon began to squeeze Kooper with his left talon, crushing his bones like an anaconda ready to eat its prey.

"Veemon…help…" said Kooper hoarsely.

But Veemon was also getting crushed underneath Tortomon's foot and even though he tried effortlessly to get free, he wasn't successful.

"I can't…I can't move."

Kooper opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out except for an airy gasp. He was wiggling his legs and pressing against Tortomon's talon.

"I…need…help!!"

"I told you I can't move! There's nothing I can do unless I…"

"You know what you…have to do…"

"I…can't."

Kooper heard a loud crunch. "Veemon!!" shouted Kooper.

Veemon wanted to rescue Kooper; he really did. But it was that damn foot of Tortomon's pressing against his stomach. There was nothing he could do.

"VEEEEMOOOOONNNN!!!" screamed Kooper.

As Kooper was yelling Veemon's name, Veemon shut his eye and his body began to glow bright yellow. Kooper opened one of his eyes and saw the bright flash underneath Tortomon's foot.

"What…what's that?"

"Veemon digivolve to…"

The light began to get brighter and brighter until something began to lift Tortomon up and Kooper realized what was going on.

"…EXVEEMON!!!" shouted ExVeemon.

Kooper looked down and saw this giant humanoid dinosaur creature. He was very burly and had wings on his back and a large horn on his head. In fact, he even looked like he was just as tall as Tortomon.

"Don't worry Kooper! I'll save you!" said ExVeemon.

He even sounded different, like a valiant superhero.

"…Veemon??"

"Not Veemon! ExVeemon!!" shouted ExVeemon.

Tortomon growled at ExVeemon and let Kooper go, who quickly hid in his shell to cushion the blow of the fall. He then took cover in a ditch and let the two giant Digimon duke it out.

"STRONG CARA—"

"VEE-KICK!!" shouted ExVeemon, attacking Tortomon before he finished.

ExVeemon hopped into the air and jump-kicked Tortomon right in the mouth, shooting his body across the dirt and leaving a large red footprint on his head. Tortomon shook his head and looked up to see ExVeemon coming right towards him.

"VEE-PUNCH!!!"

ExVeemon made a buff fist and punched Tortomon in the face…multiple times. It was like he was boxing against a bumpy pillow; Tortomon didn't even have a chance to defend himself against all the punches ExVeemon threw. ExVeemon roared and charged into Tortomon with his horn, impaling his pancreas and causing Tortomon to howl in pain.

"VEE-LASER!!!" shouted ExVeemon.

ExVeemon's chest glowed bright orange and before Tortomon and Kooper knew it, a humongous orange laser in the form of an "X" shot out at Tortomon, slamming him into the mountainside. Tortomon could only scream and shout as he was slowly getting burned by the laser, his body material slowly deteriorating. After a good 20 seconds, Tortomon groaned weakly and collapsed, falling on his stomach.

"WOW!!! Your new form looks badass ExVeemon!!"

Tortomon's body turned into infinitesimal bits of data and were scattered throughout the wind, only to be absorbed by ExVeemon.

"It's been a while since I've digivolved into a Champion. I've never felt so powerful!"

"Yeah! And you're really…tall…"

ExVeemon chuckled. "Who's the shorty now?"

"Hey, that's not fair! You transformed into a whole new version of yourself! I'm pretty sure if I digivolved I'd be taller than you."

"You keep telling yourself that." said ExVeemon, smiling.

Kooper sighed. "Just fly me home."

* * *

ExVeemon was standing next to what was left of Kooper's house while Kooper was marveling his new form.

"Dude I love that giant horn of yours and those wings look cool! You're so valiant and badass and—"

ExVeemon grunted really hard until he farted and a large steamy pile of excrement plopped onto the ground. Kooper's jaw dropped and his eyes suddenly grew wide.

"I think that spicy pasta didn't travel down my viscera well. What were you saying?"

"You couldn't--how do you just take a shit right in front of someone nonchalantly?! You ever heard of the word privacy??"

ExVeemon shrugged. "When you gotta go, you gotta go. I don't see what the big deal is."

"Great. Now I have to buy you a diaper…and dispose of this somewhere."

Kooper turned around and saw Koover walking down the street.

"Hey Koover—"

"I'm not cleaning that."


	4. Field Day in the Citadel

**Field Day in the Citadel **

Morton Koopa Jr. hadn't slept so well in years. In the several years of his life where he wasted his days spending time inside of one of his siblings' rooms, he never got a good night's rest. He would always wake up with a fist to the face from Roy, the burning stench of fabric from a chemical experiment gone wrong Iggy concocted, coughing from Wendy powdering her face too much in the morning, a pie to the face from Lemmy, the falsetto notes escaping Ludwig's vocal cords, or the sound of Larry balancing himself on a large rubber ball while he juggled and whistled carousel music. He couldn't even sleep in Junior's room or his father's without being chastised or "punished" because of it. When Morton tried to sleep in Junior's room, the adolescent koopaling greeted him with his fire breath and bob-ombs launched from sling-shots. The second time he tried, a mouse trap went off on his fat nostrils. With no other option, Morton resorted to sneaking into his father's chamber and sleeping with him. It wasn't all that bad actually; his bed was big and comfortable. Perhaps if Bowser hadn't eaten a twenty bean casserole for dinner with a side of rotten eggs, he would've managed to stay inside the whole night, instead of rushing out on the verge of vomiting. After that, Morton just bunked with Iggy. He did think of trying to sleep with his father again, but he knew his father had a diet that was rife with fiber. Whether or not Bowser ate a bean casserole before bed wouldn't change the overall result. There was nothing Morton could do…expect try to force Iggy to invent a potion that eliminated his olfaction at night.

Anyway, Morton was busy lying on his belly with his shell off. He had arousing female koopas all around him giggling or massaging Morton in various areas. Some were removing the knots from his neck, others were moving their hands down his spine, some were pressing their fingers on his soles, and he even felt a couple of hands pinch his buttocks, which made him laugh malicious and purr with a sly grin on his face. Suddenly, one of the massagers walked over to Morton, wearing nothing but a thong and a bra that looked like it was on verge of bursting and exposing her goodies. She bent over and started to lick Morton all over the face. Morton continued to moan ecstatically and sigh with relief as her soggy wet tongue moved around his face. No matter how arbitrary, the koopaling seemed to enjoy it. And it would only continue for as long as he imagined…

Morton was giggling and sighing in his bed, tossing and turning as the wet sensation continued to move all around his face. Lick after lick after lick, slobber would get onto Morton's face. Guilmon crawled out of Iggy's bed and his curious mind brought him to the other turtle creature resting in bed. Why Guilmon started licking Morton, he didn't know why, but his face had a tangy aftertaste. After Guilmon licked Morton on his closed left eyelid, he slowly opened his eyes and noticed a large, magnified wet nose less than an inch away from his face. Guilmon smiled widely and waved to Morton.

"Hi!!" he said, cheerfully.

Morton promptly screamed at the top of his lungs and plunged out of bed with a loud thud, leaving Guilmon confused. Iggy heard the noise and sat upright as well.

"Morton what—"

Iggy noticed that Guilmon wasn't coddling him anymore, and was standing on top of Morton's bed sheets. It didn't take a rocket scientist—or a mad one in this case—for Iggy to figure out what happened. He quickly rushed over to his brother, who was sitting on the floor breathing erratically with his chest puffing in and out like a frog croaking.

"What the hell is that?!?!"

"That's—"

"I'm Guilmon!" he interrupted, playfully.

"Whatever a Guilmon is, it started licking my face in the middle of the night! And it looks like a dinosaur—have you been experimenting with DNA reconstruction again?"

"No, he told me he came from some place called the DigiWorld. You ever hear of that show Digimon?"

"That rip-off version of Pokémon?"

"It's not a rip-off! And yes, that show. Apparently he came from there. Guess he got sucked into some black hole and stumbled into an alternate dimension."

"You do realize I'm gonna have to tell dad about this right?" asked Morton, smiling widely.

"Um guys? I have to go to the bathroom…"

"Not now Guilmon!" shouted Iggy.

Guilmon groaned and hopped off the bed, scurrying around the room and vigorously sniffing the floor and walls.

"You're not telling dad about any of this!"

"Oh yeah? Well why not? You know damn well dad doesn't let us have pets anymore. Not after you created that giant sludge monster that dirtied up the castle with its muck."

"Because if you tell dad, I'll tell him that you were the one who chucked a Frisbee at his head while you were sleeping!"

"Then I'll tell dad you were the one who 'involuntarily' peed all over the sofa."

"Then I'll tell dad you were the one who broke his priceless statue of himself!"

"Then I'll tell dad you were the one who stole ten moneybags from his retirement fund!"

"Then I'll tell dad you were the one who put laxatives in his food and locked all the bathroom doors so he was forced to poop in the kitchen sink!"

"Then I'll tell dad you were the one who blew up his priceless Koopa Clown Car!"

"That was Lemmy and you know it!!"

"I can still blame you for it."

"Then-then…I'll…"

Iggy stammered for a moment before he thought of the greatest source of blackmail he could use on his chatty brother.

"If you tell dad about Guilmon, I'll tell dad you took a photo of him when he was naked and drunk and then posted the photo on Facebook for the whole world to see!"

Morton gasped excitedly. "But he already knows about that! Surely he gets on Facebook—"

"Morton, think about it: dad is too stupid to get online. I had to show him how to turn on a laptop. A LAPTOP!!" said Iggy, with emphasis.

"Well uh…if you tell him I did that, he'll know you knew about it beforehand and didn't tell him before because you were too busy spreading the photo around to other people and laughing at him as well, so you'll get in trouble too!"

"No I won't, because I'll tell dad that I didn't even know what you did until I saw the photo late last night and I didn't tell dad because he was sleeping and I didn't want to bother him! So not only do I nail your ass to the wall, I'll get points for being sympathetic! So ha!"

Morton tried to think of a comeback, but there was absolutely nothing else he could say to blackmail Iggy. There honestly wasn't anything bigger than that that Iggy did. If only he was arguing with Lemmy, then maybe he could blackmail him by saying he was the one who hosed Bowser's room down with the contents from the septic tank. Morton growled gutturally and gritted his teeth.

"I HATE YOU." he snarled, not opening his mouth.

It wasn't until Iggy heard loud trickling and Guilmon sigh with relief and have a musky smell enter his nose that he turned around to look at Guilmon, who was busy peeing on a dresser with his right leg raised at an angle.

"DAMNIT GUILMON!!"

Iggy rushed over to the dinosaur and put his leg down, guiding him away from the puddle of urine.

"You do not go pee-pee in the house!"

"But I had to use the bathroom!!" whined Guilmon.

"Then why didn't you go to the bathroom in there?!" shouted Iggy, pointing to a door.

Guilmon noticed there was a door near the window in Iggy's room that led into the bathroom. Guilmon scratched the back of his head and laughed meekly with his eyes shut.

"My bad."

"I'm not cleaning that up."

"You want the room to reek of Digimon urine?" asked Iggy.

"No, but I can just blame you for it if dad finds out. And, I have evidence to prove you did it!"

"The minute dad does a urine sample he's gonna realize I wasn't the one who peed there."

"Dad's stupid, remember? You told me yourself he doesn't even know how to start a laptop. You really think he has time to find out whose DNA is in that urine?"

Guilmon sighed heavily when he witnessed the two siblings bickering with each other and sat down on the floor, bored. Despite everything, Guilmon was bored, and he didn't know what to do at the moment. There wasn't any other Digimon he could play with, and since Iggy was currently occupied, he had nothing to do. At least, not until he held his head high and the smell of food delved into his mind.

"Mmm, food!!" he said happily.

One of the koopalings was busy making breakfast and the smell was making Guilmon's mouth water profusely. Guilmon used his nose as a guide and walked over to the entrance of the room, slowly grabbing the door handle and turning it sideways. He glared at Morton and Iggy one last time before crawling out of the room and entering the corridor of the castle.

"Bottom line Morton: no one can find out that Guilmon is in here. Not Wendy, not Lemmy, not Larry—"

"What about pops?"

"Especially not dad! And don't say anything to Roy or Ludwig either!"

"Why not? Roy would love to wrestle with this guy!"

"That's the point! I don't wanna Roy hurting him! And Ludwig is smart enough to figure out what goes on in this castle just by hinting something at him!"

"Why do you even want to keep Guilmon?"

"Because…you know how I have ideas about taking over the Mushroom Kingdom by creating a new species by combining their DNA together?"

"You want to use Guilmon as a lab rat?"

"Not exactly. I just want his DNA for experimenting, that's all."

"That's gonna be difficult."

"Why?"

"Your pet's gone."

Iggy turned around and noticed that Guilmon was gone and the door to their room was ajar.

"Son of a bitch. Morton didn't you lock the door before we went to bed?!"

"…Maybe…"

"We gotta go find Guilmon before anyone else finds out about him."

"But I wanna see dad yell at you."

"Remember the Facebook photo?"

"You're right, let's go find him."

* * *

Larry was in the kitchen fixing himself something to eat, a sandwich with different types of deli meat he had baked in the oven. All of the meat was finished and Larry was slapping several pieces of it onto a slice of wheat bread, his mouth watering so much it began to drip down onto his chest. Larry slapped the top slice of bread onto the meat and grabbed the sandwich. He licked his lips and opened his mouth, just when he realized he forgot something important. Larry snapped his fingers and said, "Mustard." before running back to the fridge and sifting through the nourishments. While inside, Guilmon made his way to the kitchen and found the sandwich lying on the plate, succulent and full of protein. The dinosaur growled softly before he lowered his head and sniffed the sandwich. Loving both the smell of meat and wheat, Guilmon grabbed the sandwich and took a giant bite out of it, chewing on the sandwich quietly and growling to himself.

"Hey, who's back there?" asked Larry, his head still inside.

But Guilmon ignored him and continued to eat the sandwich. In only three bites, the sandwich had been reduced to nothing but a small piece of bread with a piece of meat sticking out of it. However, he was still hungry, and the smell was still going on through Guilmon's nose. Guilmon turned around and looked at the stove, seeing a giant pot full of mysterious brew.

"Hmm…"

Guilmon lowered his head and sniffed the contents a few times before recoiling and plugging his nose. Whatever the smell was, this wasn't it. Guilmon looked inside to see what it was, but it looked like a normal batch of tomato juice, except it was more orange than red. Regardless, Guilmon couldn't put his mind to rest, so he stuck his head inside and started lapping up the stew, collecting the juices with his tongue like a dog licking water. Larry would've heard him, but one of the shelves in the fridge abruptly collapsed and landed on his head, making him swear out loud and jolt his body around. Guilmon heard the commotion and, thinking he was in trouble, took one final big slurp of the stew before running away. Coincidentally, Lemmy smelled the deli meat and ran downstairs to get some breakfast before the rest of the koopalings ravenously scarfed whatever they could find. He found Lemmy's sandwich pretty much gone, but there was still a few bites of it left and Lemmy wanted his fill. He grabbed the sandwich and started to chew on it. Not a moment later, Larry turned around, with milk, eggshell, and crushed blueberries on his head, and saw Lemmy eating the sandwich.

"WHAT THE HELL!!!"

Lemmy looked at Larry with his cheeks bulging and his eyes wide before looking at the sandwich. He looked back at an aggravated Larry before swallowing hard and looking at the sandwich.

"Uh…it was in my mouth when I got here."

* * *

Guilmon started exploring the castle some more, browsing around chamber-by-chamber to see if he could find something worth while. The dinosaur stumbled upon Wendy's room, but he saw nothing appealing in there. She was just chatting on her cellphone and pampering herself like always, setting traps around her room to prevent her brothers from snooping through her private belongings. He thought about walking inside, but he saw her place an exceedingly large trap that would painfully electrocuted anyone who stepped on it. Guilmon didn't want to get fried, so he quickly rushed past her room before she spotted him in the hallway. Next up was the bathroom. From what Guilmon heard, it was occupied; nothing he wanted to see in there. It wasn't until Guilmon smelled meat again that he realized what he was heading for more food. At least, he thought it was. Guilmon peeked inside of a room and saw racks upon racks of lamb meat, some raw and others cooked. Just then, he heard loud grunts and squishes and saw Roy, punching a large slab of raw meat like it was a heavy punching bag. Nevertheless, the room was full of food, so he quietly went inside. Guilmon turned to his right and found Roy's stash of cooked meat. He laughed with glee and rushed inside, going to town on all the meat.

* * *

"Okay, if I were a creature from an alternate dimension, where would I go?"

"To find food. It's breakfast time right now ain't it?" asked Morton.

"Breakfast, of course! And Larry fixes his deli sandwiches around this time of day too!"

Morton and Iggy ran down a set of stairs and found Larry drowning his brother Lemmy with two cans of squirt-able whipped cream.

"He eat your sandwich again?" asked Morton.

"What do you think?!!?" shouted Larry.

Morton and Iggy walked over to the counter next to the fridge and looked down at the plate, which had a large concentration of dribble next to it.

"When did Lemmy start drooling?"

"That's not the point; when did Lemmy start drooling on the counter?" asked Iggy.

"Why would that matter?"

"Remember how angry dad got because someone spilled lemonade on the counter after he had his koopatrols re-paint the whole thing?"

"Yeah."

"He told us specifically not to get any liquids on the counter, at least not without cleaning it up. And no one's opened that new pack of paper towels so…"

"It was Guilmon."

"Right."

"Well, if he's not here now, then where could he be?"

"Roy does have a stash of meat he keeps around for eating and punching at."

Morton slapped his forehead. "Obviously, of course he's in his room!"

"We gotta go up there before Roy decides to use Guilmon as a punching bag!"

* * *

It didn't take long for Roy to sense a disturbance in his room. As he was punching the slabs of meat, he heard loud sucking from a distance followed by loud slurping and a hiccup. Guilmon was busy gnawing his way on the hunks of meat, chewing voraciously through the tender lamb meat before Roy started to investigate.

"What the hell is that?"

Guilmon was unsure of what he heard, but the voice was gruff and scared him. Guilmon stopped eating the meat and backed away to go hide behind a couple of stacks of meat. Roy walked inside the closet of meat and began to check behind all the corners of meat before he found a thick, smooth tail resting on the ground. Roy smiled deviously, imagining what he could do to the intruder. Perhaps he could torture the creature by dipping it into a vat of acid. Perhaps he could use it as a punching bag. Perhaps he could strap the creature to the wall and throw knives at it, missing him on purpose just to scare it. There were all kinds of sadistic practices he could perform with the creature. Now all he had to do…was capture it.

"I wonder how long it'll take before this thing screams from me twisting its nipples…"

Guilmon, despite his adolescent attitude, knew how to defend himself when the time came to it. He found that his head was particularly hard and useful it certain situations, like this one for a change. Before Roy could even identify Guilmon, he wiped his head around and rammed into his throat using the top of his head. Roy fell backwards and his vision was blurred and he became woozy, but he managed to make out some creature hop over his body and run out the closet just before he blacked out. Guilmon started panting to get away from the buff koopaling and he entered the corridor yet again, looking for some more stuff to do. He no longer desired to eat anymore, not with all the meat resting in his gut. There had to be something active in the castle that wouldn't kill him in the process. He wouldn't mind playing with Roy at all, but what he said was enough to scare the crap outta him so he just had to get out of his room.

And that's when Guilmon saw a giant room full of spiked shells. At least twelve, maybe even sixteen shells, all of which were either side-by-side or close together. Guilmon smiled widely and giggled, walking inside and shutting the big metal door that was left ajar. He then looked at the shells and smiled playfully, wagging his tail like a puppy waiting for its master to come home. Guilmon turned around and shook his tail, slowly caressing one of the spiked shells with ease. Then, he jerked his tail to the left and shouted, "BATTER UP!!" before whacking the shell like a golf ball of baseball or tennis ball. The shell slid across the sleek, squeaky floor and made contact with another spiked shell. The resulting momentum caused the other shell to glide along the sleek for as well, and it bounced off the wall, coming into contact with two more shells resting beside each other. Pretty soon, every single spiked shell in the room was busy slamming into each other back and forth like a game of pinball. All Guilmon needed now was the comical dinging noise. Everytime one of the shells got closer to Guilmon, he merely whipped his body around and whacked his tail at it. He started laughing and whooping with excitement with the game he created. If only he could think of a good name for it, "Whack-Shell" maybe or some sort of name with a ring to it. Guilmon should be calling it "Whack-Koopatrol" because all these shells were the shells of those worn by Bowser's elite patrol koopas. This was their sleeping chamber, big emphasis on _was_. One of the koopatrol stuck his head out of his shell as he was gliding and noticed he was headed right for a shell bigger than his head.

"WHAT THE FU—"

He was out cold before he could even finish. However, the loud outburst instantly woke up the other fifteen resting koopas. And they were all gasping loudly when they looked ahead and knew they were about to slam into something…hard.

* * *

"Maybe he left a set of tracks for us."

"Yeah, it's real easy to leave Guilmon paw-prints on a metal and stone floor Morton."

"It could happen!"

Morton and Iggy heard loud swearing and groaning from afar and quickly rushed over to Roy's room, entering his closet full of meat and finding him lying on the ground, holding his throat and coughing.

"What happened to you? Did dad catch you ransacking his dresser again?"

"No dad didn't catch me ransacking his closet!" roared Roy.

The muscle-bound koopaling coughed twice before he started rolling around, trying to get off his shell.

"One of your experiments—COUGH!—socked me in the throat, knocked me over! What monster did you create this time Iggy?!"

"How do you know you didn't punch a slab of meat so hard it swung forward and came back and whacked you in the face?"

"Because slabs of meat don't run over me Iggy!"

"Perhaps it was another bob-omb that blew a fuse. Piss any of them off lately?"

"What bob-ombs don't I piss off?"

"Exactly, see? It was just a bob-omb," said Iggy, walking backwards.

"Where you goin'?!!? I'm still stuck down here!!"

"I know; I just realized I left the hot plate on and I'm busy boiling acid and if I don't turn it off it's gonna explode and dissolve the room so I'm gonna run away and shut it off before it blows and dad yells at me for it corroding through the walls."

Iggy realized he hadn't taken a breath through the whole sentence, and he inhaled sharply.

"See ya!!" he shouted, running out of Roy's room with Morton.

"HEY!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Guilmon was busy having fun with his new game, despite the fact many of the koopas had cracked their skulls together. He wasn't paying attention to the sounds of them shouting out in pain and simply thought they were shouting with joy. Even though some of the koopatrols were bleeding, he just continued whacking their shells, laughing with glee. But as always, games tend to have a small flaw. Guilmon wasn't suspended on anything and was in the line of fire and with sixteen spiked shells buzzing around, one of them was bound to hit him. One of them did, right in his gut. After he was hit, Guilmon instantaneously stopped laughing and bent over after exhaling loudly. He put his hands around his stomach and fell to his knees, groaning loudly and coughing. Sixteen koopatrols and an interdimensional creature were busy groaning loudly, holding their bleeding, puffy scalps or clutching their abdomen in pain. Guilmon wasn't having any fun anymore and he slowly got off the floor and walked outside into the corridor again. He was taking very slow steps down the hallway and was having trouble breathing. Suddenly, all the pain he had around his body was rushed down to his rectum. Guilmon stopped walking and his knees began to shake. He started thinking about all the meat he ate, all the lamb coursing through his bowels, all the "buildup" that was happening. Before he even had time to stop himself, Guilmon raised his tail and squatted.

* * *

"Come on, this can't be too hard to figure out!"

"It's not. Guilmon's right over there."

"Stop kidding around Mor…"

Iggy looked off in the distance and saw Guilmon emerging from around the corner of a corridor, sighing heavily with a relieved look on his face.

"GUILMON!!"

"Uh-oh."

Thinking he was in trouble, Guilmon jerked his body around and started to run in the other direction.

"Guilmon come back here!"

As Iggy sprinted around the corner and started running after the fleeing Guilmon, he heard a loud squish. Iggy looked down and realized he stepped in something that was warm and moist. It looked like mud…and smelled like organic fertilizer.

It wasn't mud.

It wasn't organic fertilizer.


End file.
